


I Bloom Just For You

by saudade (bachiraluvs)



Category: Blue Lock (Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Breaking Up & Making Up, Exes, Flower Talk, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Insecurity, Light Angst, M/M, for blue lock exchange, kind of a rin character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:21:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26221042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bachiraluvs/pseuds/saudade
Summary: When Bachira breaks it off unexpectedly with Rin he must decide whether or not their relationship is worth fighting for.
Relationships: Bachira Meguru/Itoshi Rin, RinBachi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	I Bloom Just For You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [keibaji](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keibaji/gifts).



> omg hi!! i wrote this fic as a part of the blue lock exchange on twitter. i was a pinch hitter so this is one of two fics i wrote. this one in particular is dedicated to my lovely partner @bajitwt!! i really hope you enjoy i had a lot of fun writing rinbachi for you!!

_“I think we need to break up.”_

-

Those were the words that haunted the mind of Rin Itoshi for three weeks. 

It had been three weeks since his boyfriend, well _ex-boyfriend_ now, Bachira broke up with him. They had been together for almost a year. In fact, it would have been their anniversary in just a few days. Rin still remembers it, the day he asked Bachira out for the first time. It was March 23rd, a day that cusped the end of winter and the beginning of spring. He and Bachira had met previously in a required science class for the college they attended. The two happened to be assigned as partners, which meant they would have to spend a lot of time together. And at first, Rin hated Bachira. He hated the other boy’s sunny disposition, how he laughed off bad grades and mistakes, and he especially hated the fluttering in his heart when Bachira smiled at him. It took him a while to warm up to the other, but when he did, it was like Bachira had been in his life the whole time. 

They walked each other to and from class, called each other nightly (which usually meant Bachira ranting and Rin listening with the ghost of a smile on his face), Bachira would come to all of Rin’s soccer practices and games, and when they both weren’t busy with studying or in Rin’s case sports, Bachira was dragging them all over the place for fun activities. It was overwhelming for Rin at first. He had never done anything like it. For most of Rin’s life he had been put on a tight schedule by his parents. Wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, go to school, attend soccer practice, go home, eat a snack, study and do homework, independent soccer training, eat dinner, take a shower, put on pajamas, go to bed. Rin’s life was planned out to the day he would die by his parents. His career path would have probably been chosen if he didn’t show signs of being a soccer prodigy at a young age. At least Rin loved soccer, at least that was one thing they couldn’t take away from him. Rin never protested any of it though. He had seen what happened to his brother when he tried and Rin decided that day it would be better just to listen. Even his college had been picked out and his backup major, if soccer didn’t work (soccer would work, Rin wouldn’t let soccer fail him, it was the only thing he actually cared for, after all). So he followed his given routine every day, even in college where the watchful eyes of his parents weren’t. He expected nothing less or more and then Bachira flew into his life and made a home in his heart. 

Rin had never met someone like Bachira, someone so unapologetically himself. Bachira did what he wanted, said what he wanted, laughed if he wanted and no one could stop him. At first, it annoyed Rin, but as he got to know the marvel that was Bachira Meguru he learned that it wasn’t annoyance he felt, but envy. Rin craved his freedom, his spirit. Rin wanted to be able to express himself the way Bachira could. He wanted to unlock his heart from the cage he put it in as a child and wear it on his sleeve like Bachira. And maybe that’s why he fell in love with him. He fell in love with the boy who, in Rin’s eyes, had everything. That’s why on March 23rd, as winter melted into spring and the flowers started to blossom and Bachira exclaimed his desire to grow a sunflower with Rin, Rin did his first act of defiance against his planned out life. He asked Bachira on a date. 

-

_“Hey. Let’s go visit the flower fields this weekend, I’m sure they’ve begun to bloom.” Rin had said to Bachira on their walk home. His voice was steady but underneath the scarf that was wrapped around his face hid the smallest of blushes._

_“Itoshi Rin… are you asking me out on a date?” Bachira had responded back, that mischievous smile danced onto his, the one that never failed to make Rin’s heart race._

_“And if I am?” He questions. It was a step out of his comfort zone, a venture into the unknown. But it was all worth it, when he saw the smile that bloomed on Bachira’s face, prettier than any flower he could take him to see._

_“Well then I’d say yes.”_

-

The actual date happened that weekend. Rin brought Bachira to a place dedicated to flowers because he knew the other boy loved watching them bloom. Bachira could talk for hours about his favorite ones and what they meant and he did. He pointed out his favorites and Rin listened. He listened but he wasn’t looking at the flowers. The entire time he stared at Bachira because Bachira was beautiful when he was happy (well, Bachira was always beautiful, even when he cried and even when he was angry. Bachira was even beautiful when he sat Rin down and broke up with him in a cafe, but when Bachira was happy he was _especially_ beautiful). Rin ended up having to drag the other boy out of the flower field, but Rin was fine with it, it gave him an excuse to hold the other’s hand. He dragged Bachira away from the fields so they could get something to eat. Except as he dragged Bachira away and turned to look, he saw the other, back to the sky, being basked in the light of the setting sun. In that moment, Bachira glowed. He was like an angel and Rin thought, maybe that’s why Bachira seems so perfect to him, because he was an angel. An angel with golden yellow eyes and stupid choppy bangs and a laugh that ringed like bells. 

So Rin did what felt right, he stopped in his tracks and let Bachira run right into him. He grabbed the other’s arm and let his eyes meet the yellow ones that have swirled in his mind since he met Bachira. And Bachira looked up at Rin through thick lashes and a smile played on his lips. Rin flickered his eyes down to Bachira’s lips and then back up, a silent question, a plea. And Bachira just shook his head lightly, a slight laugh leaving his lips, and he tilted his head up while rising onto his toes to connect their lips. It was just a press of the lips, an innocent kiss (and Rin’s first) but it set both the boys hearts ablaze. In that moment, the light the once only covered Bachira now seeped into Rin. It was a day Rin would never forget, the day Bachira Meguru officially stole his heart. 

That’s how Rin and Bachira got together and since then, Rin had thought everything had been fine. Nothing really changed much between them, they still talked every day, but now they held hands when walking to class (Bachira liked swinging their hands when they walked). Now they would steal kisses whenever they could (Rin especially liked when he got to kiss Bachira to make him stop talking, the blush on the other boys face never failed to amuse him). Now after class they would go on dates (Bachira usually did the planning and Rin would happily follow along if it meant seeing Bachira happy). For Rin, their relationship was unlike anything he had ever experienced. Probably because until then, he was always demanded to stay away from relationships by his parents, ‘they’re a distraction’ they told him. It would only push him off track from the goals that had set for him to make. And for a while, Rin believed them, believed that relationships were just annoying distractions that Rin didn’t need. Then he met Bachira and realized, if he was a distraction, then Rin would happily be distracted. 

Bachira made Rin indescribably happy. Rin didn’t know it was possible to feel so much, to love so much. It was a foreign feeling to the boy. That’s why he had such a hard time expressing it to his boyfriend. Rin grew up in a cold environment, a place where love was frowned upon, where wanting things was looked down upon, where Rin was looked down upon. So even when Rin wanted to show Bachira just how much he meant, it always ended up, untranslated. Rin wasn’t good with words, often the things he wanted to express would get stuck in his throat from the fear he had of the backlash. Usually everything he said was calculated, he knew what response he would be getting when he said the things he did. But with Bachira it wasn’t like that. Rin never knew what Bachira was thinking and he could never really find the right words to express just how much he cared. So he tried to express it through action because as they say actions speak louder than words right? It seemed like it worked because Bachira never complained. Bachira who so freely would whisper ‘I love you’s’ into his ear, Bachira who would caress his cheek and tell him he was pretty, Bachira who could say anything and everything. Rin admired it, but it scared him all the same. 

Rin wanted it, he wanted to be able to tell Bachira how he felt, he wanted to be able to express any emotions, but fear is a deadly thing. And when as a child your told emotions are the root of all problems, when you're told that by expressing how you truly feel you're giving everyone a free pass to hurt you, you start burying those emotions. Rin’s emotions had been stuffed into a box since he was a child. It was Bachira who was able to open it just a tiny bit but that fear was still there, settled deeply into his heart. What if he truly did let go and lived how he wanted, acted how he wanted, and Bachira didn’t like him any more. If there was one thing he didn’t want it was that. Rin had never known what it was like to want things and fight for things, selfishness was frowned upon in his home. Wanting something not set in stone for you already was shunned and Rin hated being shunned. All Rin really ever wanted was for someone around him to actually care about him and not just his talents or accomplishments (his father had more of Rin’s awards in their home than actual pictures of Rin himself). And Bachira did, he cared about him, but what if Rin ruined that. What if Rin decided he actually wanted to be selfish, to live how he wanted, would Bachira still want him then. After all, Bachira fell in love with the way Rin was now, the cold and distant, barely ever talking, selfless Rin. The Rin who didn’t say ‘I love you’ but instead left his sweaters on Bachira’s bed because he knew the other liked wearing them when he studied. Rin who didn’t tell Bachira he was pretty but instead took thousands of photos of the other boy and kept them around so he could always see them. Rin couldn’t say anything or everything but it doesn’t mean he wasn’t trying. He thought this was enough because Bachira had never complained before, never said anything about it before. 

That’s why Rin never thought something like this would happen. He never thought he would lose Bachira. But Rin should be the first person to know, it is easy to hide behind a facade to protect yourself, it is hard to admit to the thing’s you truly desire. Rin didn’t notice the way Bachira expectantly looked at him, waiting for an ‘I love you too’ or ‘I care so much about you’ or any declaration of love. Rin didn’t know Bachira struggled with his own insecurities, that Bachira thought he was unlovable, that Bachira thought he just annoyed everyone around him. Rin didn’t see the way Bachira would deflate at the lack of initiative Rin took, sure, he would steal a kiss here and there but Bachira was the one who planned the dates, Bachira was the more affectionate one. Rin didn’t know all Bachira wanted was assurance. How could he? Bachira didn’t say anything and Rin wasn’t as observant as he claimed to be. The two boys who loved each other so much it could rival that of the love between the sun and the moon, were caught in a web of miscommunications and fears. Really, all they needed was each other, but instead of coming together to fix the problem they were slowly breaking apart. 

That’s why Bachira broke up with Rin, not because he didn’t love him, but because he loved him so much he was afraid it would hurt them both. 

Rin didn’t know that, all he knew was that his heart ached, it weeped. For three weeks he let himself bask in the pain from losing Bachira. He felt like he deserved it, after all who was he, boring, scared little Itoshi Rin who has never made his choices or fought for anything in his life to be with someone so divine like Bachira Meguru. Bachira has always deserved better than him, he who couldn’t express himself, he who couldn’t love properly. Bachira deserved someone better, someone stronger. Rin wasn’t that, Rin wasn’t sure if he could ever be that. Rin still wasn’t sure if he deserved love at all. That’s why he let those three weeks pass, it’s why he endured the constant aches and cries of his heart. He didn’t deserve to be selfish with Bachira, no matter how much he wanted to. 

Rin planned on letting the boy go. To slowly lock away the feelings Bachira had pried out of him, it would be almost impossible for him to forget Bachira’s honey yellow eyes and kisses that tasted like candy, but he would have to try. He would do it for Bachira because he deserved better. Rin planned on ignoring his own pain, ignoring Bachira, and going back to his regularly scheduled life and try to make peace with the mundane of it all. And then, while walking to class, his arm swinging absent-mindedly at his side, hand missing the warmth of Bachira’s he saw it. He saw Bachira sitting alone, under a tree which hadn’t bloomed yet because it was still early March and the winter hadn’t fully dissipated yet. He saw the boy he loved staring at a sole flower that had bloomed on the tree, something that would once make him smile that effortlessly gorgeous smile that Rin ingrained in his mind, and he looked sad. He looked so sad and if the breakup hurt then this hurt worse. Because it hit Rin in that moment, Bachira must miss him too. 

Bachira has never been sad while looking at flowers. Flowers were the one thing (besides Rin, at least, when they were together) that never failed to make him happy. Rin had never asked why, he should have, because he wanted to know everything about Bachira. It was like a punch to the gut seeing the other so sad while staring at something he loved. Rin wanted to kiss the frown off the other boy’s face. Rin wanted to tell him that everything would be okay because he was there and he would always be there. Rin just… wanted Bachira. And it hit him that maybe, maybe wanting wasn’t such a bad thing after all. Being selfish couldn’t be all that bad if it made him happy right? After all the shit he’s put up with, suppressing himself and his emotions, complying to the will of others, never getting a choice, Rin deserved to be happy. But Rin could only be happy if he still had Bachira. How was Rin supposed to learn to love without him? So what if he was selfish, Bachira made him happy, so happy Rin couldn’t even put it into words and he was pretty damn sure he made Bachira happy too. If he didn’t, he would spend the rest of his life trying to do so because Bachira was beautiful, especially when he was happy. 

It was hard, pushing away all the fears that plagued him. Hard, was an understatement, it was excruciating. Each step he took towards the other boy, made his hands shake. Was he really doing this? Would he really be able to fight for something he wanted? Could he really let go of all the baggage that held him back? At this point, his whole body shook with tremors and he was so close that if he reached out he could touch Bachira or he could turn and run and never look back. Yet Rin’s feet were planted and his heart ushered him forward begging him to make the right choice and Rin realized that, yes, he could fight. 

Because Bachira was worth fighting for. 

“Bachira.” He called lightly, letting the breeze carry his words. He watched as the other boy turned and instantly, the ocean blue of his eyes melted into the golden eyes of Bachira’s. He seemed shocked to see him with his wide eyes and slack jaw. Rin didn’t like it, he didn’t like that Bachira might be scared of him. He would make sure it would never happen again. 

“What… what are you doing here Rin?” Bachira stuttered out, taking a step back. It made Rin’s heart crack and he felt that fear he knew all too well creep upon him. But he fought it back, he wouldn’t let it win, not this time. Instead, Rin reached a tentative hand out and took Bachira’s hand in his own. It was almost a silent question, Rin was good at those, it was his own way of asking, is this okay, does he still have a chance. To answer it, Bachira let him link their hands with a shaky breath. It made Rin smile just slightly, he wasn’t fighting for nothing. 

“I’m here to talk to you. And I just hope that you’ll listen.” Rin continued. His eyes never left Bachira’s and even with the fear still trying to fight it’s way into his heart, he stood firm. He would not let go, he would not keep running away from the things he wanted. He saw Bachira nod and it was all the confirmation he needed. 

“I love you. I love you more than the moon could ever love the stars. I think I’ve loved you from the start and I think I’ll love you till I die. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry it took me so long to actually say it. If I’m being honest. I don’t really know anything about love. But what I do know is that my mind is constantly filled with thoughts of you and I know that whenever we kiss it makes me feel like I’m floating. I’ve never liked sweet things before but your lips taste like candy and now I think I’m addicted. I know that when I’m with you I am safe. You mean so much to me, more than you even know because I didn’t tell you. And I’m so, so sorry. I was scared, fuck, I was so scared.” Rin had stepped closer now, his hands had travelled from being linked with Bachira’s to cupping the round cheeks he loved kissing in the morning before class. He could see tears in Bachira’s eyes and could feel tears of his own starting to spring up and maybe once upon a time he would never let anyone see him cry but this was Bachira, and he wanted Bachira to see every side of him because if this relationship was going to work (Rin would do anything to make it work) he would have to be transparent. He would have to fight his fears every single day and yet, he was okay with that because Bachira was worth it. 

“I know it doesn’t seem like it but I’ve always been so scared. Scared to mess up, scared to hurt you, and it made me hurt you even more and I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am. I’d do anything to make it right. I’d do anything to make you mine again. If you give me another chance I’ll tell you everything. I’ll tell you about my broken relationship with my brother and how my parents have controlled my life to the point I’m afraid to make hard choices for myself. I’ll tell you how ever since I was a kid I have had an unexplainable fear of hamsters. I’ll tell you about how I fell head over heels in love with this annoying boy in my science class who had the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen and a smile that could rival the sun. I’ll tell you that I love you every day because I do. I love you so much that sometimes it hurts. And I’ve never fought for anything in my life Bachira but I want to start. I want to fight for you.” By the time Rin is done ranting he’s out of breath and his cheeks are tear stained because this is it. Bachira could decide he wants nothing to do with him and cast him aside or by some miracle he would take him back and let Rin do what he’s wanted to do since the beginning, love him like he deserved to be loved. 

It seemed time had stopped around them as Rin held his breath, waiting for an answer. As the seconds rolled by the thought of rejection crossed his mind and bred a new type of fear he didn’t even want to acknowledge. But it was whisked away by Bachira bumping his forehead against his. Tears trickled down the other’s cheeks like raindrops and a smile flashed onto his face. Seeing that took all of Rin’s fears away and left him breathless, he still wonders how Bachira still managed to look like an angel while crying. 

“You dummy.” Bachira finally choked out. “I’m not as perfect as you make me sound. I’ve got my own fears, my own crippling insecurities. There’s so much I haven’t told you. I was afraid when you found out you wouldn’t want me anymore.” It breaks Rin’s heart hearing that. He realizes they both hid so much with the hopes of protecting the other. They were both idiots but now at least, they were each other’s idiots. “I never stopped loving you. It’s always been you Rin, it’ll always be you.”

The words make Rin’s heart soar. It was the confirmation he needed. His fight had paid off in the end and he couldn’t be happier. They still had a lot of work to do, trust and communication needed to be better. They both had demons to fight but now they could do it together. They didn’t have to fight alone anymore. 

“Hey. Let’s go visit the flower fields this weekend, I’m sure they’ve begun to bloom.” Rin asked, the same words he asked one year ago. And Bachira laughed, he laughed loudly and freely just the way Rin loved. 

“Itoshi Rin… are you asking me out on a date?” Bachira said right back through his own tears. He still remembered that day too and Rin couldn’t help the smile that lit up his face.

“And if I am?”

“Well then I’d say yes.” 

-

In that moment, another flower began to bloom on the tree the two boys stood under. It bloomed Just as Rin tilted his head down to capture Bachira’s lip in a searing kiss. A flower to signify the beginning of something new, something beautiful. It was on that day, March 23rd, that the harsh winter finally melted into a warm spring.


End file.
